Who knew?

Note to self: do not use (brand spanking new!!) Magic Bullet to chop onions unless you want subsequent smoothies to have a...special aftertaste.

Lilys Cultivated as Veggies (yes lilys, I had to look it up): 1

Me: 0

I Give Up

Why is this grill only 75% finished? Well let me tell you. After 5 hours, two mistrials, and feeling my blood pressure rise to unsafe levels, I snapped the ignition wire. For the first time in my life, I literally saw red. And orange. And black. There may have been primitive screaming.
Rocket science: 1
Me: 0

Taco, Tostada, Same Diff

All I wanted was a warm tortilla. This is what a shot in the toaster oven will do.
Lunch: 1
Me: 0

Lesson Learned

Apparently even after a year of searching for my glasses which were packed in a box in our spare room, I still need glasses. Went to Trader Joe's, picked up some dried cranberries, worked out this morning (still working on my love/hate relationship with Jillian Michaels as well), went to open up said cranberries for a post-suicidal attempt snack and discovered the single most disgusting thing that has ever been placed on any grocery store shelf: orange flavored dried cranberries. They are so overly sweet and way overly flavored that I ate two little cranberries and almost upchucked. Needless to say, I will be paying WAYYYYYYYYY more attention next time I go in to buy my favorite snack.

Orange flavored crap: 1

Me: 0

PS Anyone else ever buy anything and then get home only to discover a) you too need a new pair of glasses because you bought the wrong thing or b) you bought the correct item only to be scarred by it horrifyingness?

Ah Monday

I have already inadvertently shared my breakfast with the kitchen floor and the girls. Fabulous.

Update: Found the apron I've been missing for over a year. It was hanging in my kitchen, on the board I write my grocery list on.

Monday: 2

Me: 0

Gingko anyone??

I just got up out of my comfy recliner to put away the groceries...that I had already put away. But did it occur to me that I already put them away? Oh no. I thought I hadn't purchased them. Quick check in the fridge showed what a dolt I am.

Faulty Memory: 1

Me: 0

The UDG Strikes Again

Oven: 1     Me: 0