Air Supply

Did you know that you're supposed to breathe when exercising? Yeah think about it. Ever been midway thru a workout and realize you've been holding your breath and you desperately need oxygen or you'll turn into Jello? Then, instead of taking said breath, you try to exhale AND inhale at the same time, making ghastly noises that should never come out of a human being and creating a new kind of burning sensation in your lungs. Happens to me all the time and it's usually induced by this woman.

Source: jillianmichaels.com via Nancy Veronica on Pinterest

Oh Jillian Michaels, you beast. Now if only I could make a picture of this beast

Source: nzafro.tumblr.com via Muhamad on Pinterest

eating that beast, you'd get a pretty accurate picture of how I feel about Jillian after a workout. However, the next day when my pants are big enough to pull on without unbuttoning and I notice the only muffin top I have is on my plate, I feel more like this.

Source: tumblr.com via Gina on Pinterest

How do you feel about exercising??

A Little Knowledge Goes A Long Way (But A Lot Makes You A Nerd)

For those of you who have the unfortunate luck of not being a bosom friend (flash backs to 6th grade English and Anne of Avonlea), you should know I tend toward tenacious tendencies. Tenacity to the point of being a bit of a female bulldog (side note: Margaret Thatcher is one of my mom's favorite leading ladies and thinks I'm a lot like her; cheers momma!). For those of you who do know me, you're shaking your heads and returning to your game of Blast Pop or Brick Thumper or whatever it is you (un)cool people play on Facebook.

I recently decided that I would like to be shape other than oval and started running and crosstraining. Not new, uh news. Not new news. (I should have my literary license revoked) However, I don't just happen to build up my interest in exercise gradually, oh no, not this undomestic girl with WAYYYYYY too much time on her hands. No, by this stage in the game, I can tell you how many calories are in 89 grams of baby carrots (30), how you can track your position while running (honey, I know you bought my an iPod shuffle and it's pink and I love it but don't you want to buy me a Garmin watch so that I can know where I am when I drop dead from running in the Redding heat?? Don't ya??) and why Jillian Michaels is a beast (no G-rated words to describe at this time).

I've been to running websites, running stores and have even started to read running books (well I've looked at them but haven't actually put them on my Kindle yet. Baby steps). And this was all within the first week. I should probably be embarrassed...but I'm not. You would think that my sudden and intense interest in a physical pursuit that didn't involve Husband would have him alarmed. You would be wrong; you see, Husband didn't even bat an eye. This is his norm. When we first got married, it was culinary cooking (now it's just edible cooking). Then he brought home Mandie, my first dog ever, and I maybe (totally did) memorize everything on the internet pertaining to canines (side note: this really wasn't that difficult because this just so happens to be a resurrection of my previous dog obsession which had me reading EVERY book in the Charleston, West Virginia public library pertaining to them from the 1st to 4th gradea). After Mandie, I think I may have relaxed a little, but once we got Melodie and her stomach issues, I began to research raw feeding and fed my girls the way I thought nature intended. I research everything to death, from dog food (we're a grain free, kibble fed family for now) to my Kindle (no nasty finger prints on my screen please). My mind is a giant black hole of useless knowledge, only beneficial when Binky wants to know what the active ingredient in deodorant is (aluminum).

As useless as the stuff I know is, I firmly believe knowledge is power (and sexy. School girl outfit anyone?). What I have a hard time figuring out, is how people have the knowledge about something but then go and do something completely contrary to what they know. I think I ingrain so much of what I know into what I believe, that it's hard for me to separate the two and I just thought it was that way for everyone. Alas, that is not the case and until more people stop being so completely lazy about using that (waste of) space between their ears, I will gladly exercise (pun totally intended) my right to learn and educate myself in whatever capacity I choose.

Lesson Learned

Apparently even after a year of searching for my glasses which were packed in a box in our spare room, I still need glasses. Went to Trader Joe's, picked up some dried cranberries, worked out this morning (still working on my love/hate relationship with Jillian Michaels as well), went to open up said cranberries for a post-suicidal attempt snack and discovered the single most disgusting thing that has ever been placed on any grocery store shelf: orange flavored dried cranberries. They are so overly sweet and way overly flavored that I ate two little cranberries and almost upchucked. Needless to say, I will be paying WAYYYYYYYYY more attention next time I go in to buy my favorite snack.

Orange flavored crap: 1

Me: 0

PS Anyone else ever buy anything and then get home only to discover a) you too need a new pair of glasses because you bought the wrong thing or b) you bought the correct item only to be scarred by it horrifyingness?

Picture show!

Since I've been desperately struggling to catch up with posting, I thought I'd do a photo montage (insert StrongBad Email music here) to get me back on track.

My anniversary meal from Hula's Mongolian BBQ (which I feasted  upon for 3 days)

My first attempt at Veggie Pizza (mid-bake)

Finished product...more like a blob, a tasty tasty blob

The cupcakes I made for my Motivation Day at work. They even have frosting!

AND sprinkles!

Last night's dinner (and today's dinner and tomorrow's lunch, have I mentioned I heart leftovers??)

So that's what I've been up to. Husband is away again, so I decided I need a hobby. A cheap one. That I can do at home. Naked if I so choose (and I just might, so I highly suggest never stopping by unannounced). I spun the wheel of indecision and landed on working out. I then took a shot of tequila, spun the wheel again and still landed on working out. 

Now, not only do I have to count those empty calories from that friggin' tequila, I also need to find the motivation to get in shape. Enter Binky, who just recently completed her first 10k. She doesn't know it (and I have no idea if she reads my blog or not, which really isn't an issue since we happen to share a brain), but she's has totally inspired me to start running again. I'm currently doing a program called Couch to 5k (or recliner in my case since my couch has a tendency to eat me) and today have started cross training with one of Jillian Michaels' dvds, 30 Day Shred, or as I like to refer to it, That one dvd where the girls demonstrating the moves aren't even breaking a sweat but there's not a dry spot on my body. 

So that's my newest adventure. Further delving into my inner glutton for punishment. But since Husband bought me smokin' hot sweats from Underarmour for my birthday/anniversary, at least I'll look good while doing it. (And thanks Binky for being the bestest bestie a girl could ask for)

Feel the burn (and the pain and the sweat and the cramps and the overwhelming feeling to throw up)

Nothing like trying to do pushups, modified ones at that, with a puppy in your face. Who knew fifteen pounds could have so much force behind it.

Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred: 1 (w/ an assist from Melodie)

Me: 0