A Very Merry Real Birthday to You!

How are we already half way through November? Thanksgiving is right around the corner and Christmas is the next block over. Both of my boys have birthdays this month, first the Cable Guy and the next day is Monkey's. And so the age old question of what do you get the man who has everything comes around twice for me (after all, I'm in their life. What more do you need?).

The Cable Guy is actually the easier one this year, mainly because he can tell me what he wants. Ammo. For the love. I don't even know where to go for that. Do they have ammo stores? Does Amazon carry ammo? What kind of ammo does he need? There are different kinds right? He might as well have asked for a baby alpaca. In fact, that I would have an easier time with. Who doesn't want a baby alpaca?

Now the other one, Monkey, he's the tricky one. He can't tell me what he wants. No I take that back. He tells me exactly what he wants. Milk. Blankie. Poop. IPad. Me to sit down and hand him books until they have been sufficiently read. But what he doesn't tell me is what he'd like that will further his little life. So his dad and I have to come up with the newest addition. We only do one birthday present, so we make it a good one. Like baby alpaca status. 

Eating breakfast on his first birthday

I can't believe my high school sweetheart will be thirty-one and my tiny baby will be two. The crazy just keeps coming. 

What are your go to gifts for toddlers?

Happy Day of My Birth!

It is my birthday. Twenty-seven years ago, Maternal and Paternal Unit welcomed their third and final child into this world. I can proudly say they've never regretted a second of it (perhaps, minutes or hours, but never just a single second).

So when Husband asked what I would like for my birthday, and I recovered from the shock of him asking me let alone remembering, I compiled this list:

Source: Uploaded by user via The Undomestic Goddess on Pinterest

Ever since I saw my first Lamborghini calendar at the age of ten, it's been my absolute dream to own one. While I always pictured a canary yellow car, I have to say that when I saw this one, with UDG perfect interior, I was in love.

Source: acciohealthylifestyle.tumblr.com via The Undomestic Goddess on Pinterest

This water bottle pretty much sums up the reason I work out. Yes, I really am that shallow.

Source: designboom.com via The Undomestic Goddess on Pinterest

This little guy reminds me of the scene in the cartoon version of Alice and Wonderland where Alice and the Queen are playing croquet with hedgehogs. Plus, I already have another animal shaped cheese grater (oh yes I do), so this would add to my collection nicely.

Source: google.com via Christine on Pinterest

I figure this is more usable than the personal submersible from this post. But if the million dollar price tag is too much...

Source: mocoloco.com via Dana on Pinterest

...a stealth fighter shaped purse is an adequate substitute. I'm sure the above paint scheme can be applied to one of them.

Melodie has promised a day free of whining, Mandie offered to lay around in the recliner and Bubbles is going to only wheek when he's hungry. Or someone walks past his cage. Or when he wants to be held. They're so thoughtful.

Oh and just throwing this out there, but Likes on our Facebook page are always rejoiced over accepted.

So what have you thought about asking for for your birthday??

Food Friday

So apparently I'm incapable of saving a picture on my phone (my ineptitude astounds even me sometimes), so I have no physical evidence of the Ham-to-put-all-other-hams-to-shame. It was edible and super tender but I think I can do better. Testing this theory will have to wait until next year, though, because ham is $&#&%R^ expensive.

Since the Ham-to-put-all-other-hams-to-shame was the only bit of epicurean anything I've done this week, I thought I'd share a video of something completely unrelated. One of my coworkers got me a huge singing balloon for my birthday and Melodie was not quite sure how to feel about the floating monstrosity. Actually, she had quite a bit to say about it.

Ah puppy.

Next Friday: Panini Week! Bought some amazing sourdough bread from Trader Joe's in anticipation.

The Cosmos Doesn't Care If It's Your Birthday

Totally woke up in a Disney movie this morning. Was singing a little ditty, even had the sweet loveable animals perched nearby (and by nearby, I mean snoring in my ear). It is my birthday and I love birthdays. There's cards and presents and food and family and friends and presents and food. It's the culmination of a year of an existence that you never asked for but got anyway (like that Christmas sweater my grandmother insisted on buying for me) and wouldn't trade for anything (most days).

Made it to work a little later than ususal (five minutes early instead of fifteen), but it's all good, cuz it's my birthday. Then I made the fatal mistake of clocking in. My whole undoing in one single act of logging my presence for the man. Should've taken a vacation day.

A vacation day would've only put off the inevitable. Today I handed over one of my babies to someone else and I'm left feeling a mixture of anger (2%) and blind seething rage (98%). I don't even think it's worth it to get into details, because, well, it is what it is. And I didn't completely hand over my little tyke, I'm still the back up (and I think I need to get my hearing checked, because I keep seeing peoples' lips say "back up" but I hear "2nd rate citizen." So weird. Isn't that a sign of mental degradation or something??).

Six months I've spent working on this and now I'm just sick to my stomach that I've been asked to step back from it. Six months of forming a plan of attack and executing follow thru and exceeding the goals handed down by my superiors, only to be asked to train someone else to take it over. On my birthday. It's like some sick twisted cosmic joke is being played on me but it's no joke, because ultimately, the cosmos doesn't have a sense of humor and doesn't care if it's your birthday.