Parts of the Whole

Thursday, September 15, 2011

3 People You'd Take to a Fight

Picture it: Rolling green hills. Two armies about to face off. Horses nervously pawing the ground, shifting their weight. Men, faces lined with years of battle and rum (funny how those lines are indistinguishable from one another), bodies taut with adrenaline. From deep within their ranks, their leader, boss, head honcho if you will, the one they call THE Undomestic Goddess, consulting with the knowledgeable ones. (Can you tell I have way too much free time at work, since I'm done in 6 days?) Ones chosen for their courage, wisdom and above all else, uncanny sense of when to turn tail and run. Three of them, with different backgrounds, creeds and genitalia. (Yep, I wrote it, genitalia) On the left, Genghis Khan, a fierce strategist who could use a bath. On the right, the cast of Glee, because every battle deserves a good sound track and sharp dressers. Directly across, the ultimate weapon, the maternal unit. Yes, I have brought my mommy to this war. Let's face it, why not? After 40 years with the paternal unit and raising three children who never did anything they were asked the first time, the maternal unit is the perfect choice. She knows how to pick her battles, has endless hours of standoffs under her belt, and can bolster even the lowest of spirits with a hot steaming pot of potato soup. Trust me, there's no getting away with anything with the maternal unit.

So if I was going to battle, those are the people I would choose to take with me. I think I have a pretty good chance of winning, if I do say so myself. Or at least confusing the enemy long enough to lob a few stink bombs and make like Cris Angel and get the freak out of there.

If you could take three people to battle with you, who would they be? The heroic if not entirely selfish Captain Kirk (stay with your freaking ship for once for the love of all that's holy!!)? Or perhaps the stoic Aslan (and that right there would just be cheating)?

The maternal unit and I ready to er, visit the zoo. But we look ferocious!

P.S. Don't forget to leave a comment here or take part in the poll to help us decide what which tags to buy for our dogs noble hounds of fury! Still no prize being offered except for the satisfaction that you've helped a friend (that would be me).