Parts of the Whole

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

The UDG Rides Again

Husband and I just got back from taking the motorcycle to Baskin Robbins for $1 scoop night with Binky and Cush.  Perfect weather for a ride-definitely not too hot, but warm enough to get away with shorts. I think it might be time to invest in some chaps, though. Pink ones. With fringe.

There are certain requirements to being a biker's old lady. First off, you have to look hot standing next to a bike. Anyone can do this unless you've just gotten too close to a hot exhaust pipe. Hopefully you were wearing above said chaps.

Secondly, you must be able to swing your leg over the bike. This does not sound like a challenge, I know, but once you throw in a back rest on the back for yourself and said biker already on the bike, you begin to think about starting a yoga class. Everything else, I have down; this, however, I still struggle with.

Thirdly, you must deal with the realization that since your honey is a biker, he is one of the world's most desirable men, somewhere between Denzel Washington and Brad Pitt. I know my husband is good looking, really, I'm aware of it and unless you want to be aware of how a size 8 stiletto feels jammed into your rectum, I suggest you keep your distance.

Lastly, it's really important that you not fall asleep on the back of the bike. I realize that the scenery is flying by like you're riding on the outside of the Matterhorn, but don't close your eyes. It appears that the lull of the motor, will indeed lull you away to La La Land. Or the emergency room.

Well this old lady is going to put away dinner and take her old bones to bed. Probably should take off my helmet first.